Forget About Living to 100

Do this instead

Photo by Guille Álvarez on Unsplash

Time to vent.

I watched 90 seconds of a ten-minute video produced by a couple (or maybe not) touting themselves as guides for seniors before I paused it, scrolled the comments, and found a summary of their message.

The offending video, now a target for this article, claims that if you are between 65 and 80 and can tick the box on eight things, you're on track to live to 100.

A pretty lofty claim, don't ya think?

Clickbait for seniors. Thanks a lot.

We've got way better things to do than watch and believe videos with titles like this:

• Doctors Warn Stop Walking and Do THIS Instead
• Why You Must Avoid Traveling After 70
• Walk Less and You Will Live to 100
• Why You Don't Need Friends After 70

And this one might take the cake: Wash These 5 Body Parts Every Day to Stay Healthy and Live Longer.

Are you f*&king kidding me?

Let's get a few things straight.

As anyone over 60 knows, we can't run as fast as we did when we were younger. We feel tighter and less limber. Our metabolism slows down — our appetite changes. There might be more meds in the bathroom cabinet. Our eyesight and hearing may not be what they once were. Our sex drive isn't what it was when we were 35.

In short, things are different, and we damn well know it.

According to the authors of dozens of videos about living to 100, here are the alleged indicators you're on track to do so.

1. Walk a mile without stopping.
2. Stand on one leg for 10 seconds.
3. Get up from a chair without using your hands.
4. You can remember recent conversations and events clearly.
5. You can climb a flight of stairs without feeling exhausted.
6. You can carry groceries without assistance.
7. You can get down on the floor and get back up easily.
8. You maintain strong social connections.