You're asking some good questions. I'll give you my opinion to the last question first. My experience is, and I believe many people wiser than me, would say that our life's work is to become a more whole, complete and loving human being. We yearn to experience inner peace. We are spiritual beings in a human body. We're instinctually drawn to the light and to the lifeforce within us (my experience).Our ego is the part of our personality that is aware of itself. I don't believe for a second the ego is trying to pursue a lack of ego. Something else is aching for connection within. Your first question- Things happen to us. I stub my toe on a nail in the floor. That's reality for me at the moment. I observe it and feel it. I observe my inner world when I meditate.

Who is doing the observing Marty? You tell me.